Divorce Checklist

In my decade long experience handling family dispute cases one very important thing I learnt doing is to assist my clients plan and prepare well before filing the divorce lawsuit.

Every case is unique and has its own merits and challenges, though many a people try to generalize as a spouse conflict or in-laws problem or financial etc… the reality is every individual goes thru a lot of pain emotionally … physically … spiritually … the circumstances are unique and very different, each experience of pain one goes thru cannot be generalized or categorized. Husband / Wife does not simply give up, its only after putting in all possible efforts one takes a very bold step for separation.

While on the death bed of relationship one decides on the divorce, the mind is gone totally blank, he/she is in just give up state, many a times depressed and does not know what to do… more often than not the women simply walk out of their husbands home… the situation worsens when the couple who decide for divorce have children, or financial commitments, debts etc…

Here is a comprehensive checklist I’ve prepared for my readers to assist with if you are considering a separation / divorce; refer this checklist only if you are unable to save the relationship:

1. Type of Divorce
2. Mutual Consent : Both of you amicably agree and want to file for divorce
3. Contested : Only one person in the relationship wants a divorce
4. Judicial Separation:  a de facto separation while you remaining legally married

2. Reason for Divorce
3. Abuse  and Domestic Violence
4. Unfulfilled Career aspirations
5. Spouse in a different relationship (Adultery / Bigamy etc…)
6. Living separately / Desertion
7. Presumption of death (spouse no longer traceable)
8. Mentally ill spouse / unsound mind / Schizophrenia
9. Venereal diseases or life threatening contagious physically incurable disease
10. Change in religion
11. Not a law abiding  citizen, criminal, a cruel person who can harm you
12. Non consummation of marriage / Impotent spouse
13. Sexual abuse or spouse forces you into unnatural sex

3. Children (Child Custody)
4. Custody of the child (if child is less than 5 years the custody will be with mother)
5. Visitation rights to the other parent
6. What happens if the child and divorced spouse leave the country
7. How will the other divorced parent visit the child if in another country
8. Who will take care of the educational expenses of the child
9. Will the child live with grandparents of the divorced spouse
10. How will the child be treated (if stepfather / stepmother situation is involved)
11. Will the grandparents of the other party (divorced spouse) have visitation rights
12. How should I prepare my child to accept parents being separated / divorced
13. Have you thought of a detailed child custody plan and documented
14. Have you made a list of points you wish to negotiate with your spouse w.r.t children
15. Are all the documents / certificates / Govt. Ids / Bank Details etc… in your custody
16. Do you feel, your spouse can emotionally bribe your children for custody
17. Are you planning to relocate with your child, in that case prepare a relocation plan
18. Have you considered other pros and cons with respect to child custody
19. In case you want to remarry, would you continue keeping the child with you

4. Finances / Money matters
5. Do you have the list of assets prepared and points of division of assets
6.      Home / Land and other real estate
7.       Bank Accounts Savings / FDs / RDs (Physical and Digital Access details)

                                                            iii.      Insurance Policies

1.       Mutual Funds / Stocks / Shares and Bonds
2.       Debts Payable and current status of loans if any
3.       Documents you have signed as Joint Authority

                                                          vii.      Vehicles (Cars / Two Wheelers / etc…)

                                                        viii.      Debts related to Credit Cards / Overdrafts etc…

1.       Will / Trust / or any other inheritance
2.       Jewellery and other precious metals etc…
3. Has your spouse borrowed money from someone on your behalf
4. Have you signed any document as a guarantor
5. Are you on board as a director or carry financial commitment to the business
6. What liabilities do you carry in case of SIPs and other monthly investments
7. What liability do you carry towards monthly loans and other recurring debts
8. What is the alimony amount you have in mind if you want to settle the matter
9. Have you prepared a draft letter to be sent to all financial authorities for stop payment or for any term / condition that applies (Banks, Insurance, Stock Brokers, Real Estate etc…)

5. Documentation Readiness : To apply for divorce the following documents are required
6. Address Proof (Passport, Driving Licence, Rent Agreement, Adhar Card etc…)
7. ID Proof (Pan Card, Passport, Adhar Card)
8. Age Proof (10^thStd. Marks Card, Passport)
9. Marriage Certificate
10. 4 Passport Size Photographs
11. 1 Marriage Photograph (Exchanging garlands or any marriage ceremony photo)
12. Verifying Affidavit
13. Divorce Petition Document
14. Memorandum of understanding  (document your settlement agreement)
15. Lawyer Nomination and Application
16. Other Document copies as attachments (Will / G-POA etc…)
17. Previous complaints / Case Documents / Applications / Counselling outcomes etc…
18. Salary certificates ( this is handy for maintenance, 1/3^rd of salary is usually claimed)
19. If working – Get the details of company and previous working companies
20. In case of evidence : make a note of witnesses who can stand by you
21. In case of abuse / violence : Doctor and Medical certificates
22. In case you have used detective services, carry proofs photographs videos etc…
23. Address details of Parents and Key Relatives (Optional)

6.  Lawyer (Very important – How to choose a lawyer to fight your case)
7. Word of mouth – check with people you know and their experience
8. Internet – read the reviews of a lawyer, his/her work, knowledge thru blogs etc..
9. Consult at least three lawyers and then select the best you are comfortable with
10. Independent lawyer or a firm
11.       If Independent lawyer he/she will know all details of your case
12.       If a firm there may be multiple lawyers who may work on your case
13. Check if the same lawyer can represent both in case of mutual consent
14. Discuss the fees upfront (Lump sum / Per Appearance / %age etc…)
15. Check the frequency of discussion with your lawyer (Phone / Skype / Chat / F2F)

7. Other Important Things:
8. Know your strengths and weakness
9. Know the strengths and weakness of your spouse
10. Prepare for the worst on how to face character assassination and other false allegations if your spouse tags you with
11. Make a list of all things you have done and tell them openly to your advocate
12.     Verbal or Physical abuse while Quarrelling
13.      Threat emails / sms etc…

                                                            iii.     Emotional Blackmail or threat to commit suicide

1.       Parental abuse
2.      Dowry demands etc…
3.      Immoral acts, pre / post extra marital relations

                                                          vii.     any other item of interest you wish to discuss

1. Make a list of people who may stand by you in case of witness required
2. Ensure you have a medical / fitness certificate (Physically and Mentally fit)
3. Inform your lawyer if you are dating or plan to marry immediately after divorce
4. Work with your lawyer and document the points to talk in the court
5. Mentally prepare yourself with the cross examination points
6. Ensure your witnesses are prepared well who will testify you
7. Remember the golden rule –TALK LESS and LISTEN MORE

This list is general for most of the divorces cases, nonetheless we belong to various cultures, ethnicity, religions, countries, castes and so depending of your type of marriage there will be variation. These are only few guidelines; an expert lawyer will carry additional requirements and guide you when you talk with him/her. You may wish to share your views with me writing into mail@lawyersonia.com