Top 5 Reasons your Wife fell out of love with you / cheating on you

• 41% of them admitted of having had regular sexual encounters with someone other than the spouse, against 26% men.
• 53% of Indian married women admitted having already had an intimate relationship outside their marriage, against 43% men
• Surprisingly, 69% of women also believe they will be forgiven by their partners

In my past decade and half practicing Family law, I have seen a raise in the divorce’s cases especially in the last 3 to 4 years filed by men citing Adultery by their wife as a reason.

Although Adultery under section 497 of IPC does not attract punishment its still a strong ground for divorce. Men who have evidence in the form of electronic records, telephone calls, WhatsApp Chats more so where women have exchanged selfies and videos in compromising situations have been strong evidences submitted in the court of law and without second doubt the divorce gets granted.

If Adultery is proven the husband need not pay maintenance, no matter the wife is working or has no source of income.

This blog is more towards the discoveries I have had during the counselling sessions with my clients, there are many spouses who wish to forget and forgive the past and restart a fresh relationship and here are top 5 elements I have discovered during the counselling sessions with my clients which I summarize for the benefit of all readers …

1. Communication Gap

a. Working husbands of wives who are homemakers often knowingly or unknowingly neglect the importance of communication, they often are so very tied up with work and other priorities of parents and children that they are unable to give quality time to listen to their wife. The home maker wife is reduced to that of a domestic help taking care of the household chores, parents, in-laws, children and does not get the attention from her spouse.

b. Homemaker wife’s have admitted to me during the counselling sessions that they get a listening ear in a friend (men) and tend to talk to them because the husband is busy, such talks slowly drift into a relationship without the knowledge of the wife and the bonds go beyond the barriers of the society

c. Another complaint from the wife typically is the love and care the husband showers towards his parents and siblings or children is not how the husband communicates with the wife, which causes the wife to feel worthless and depletes her self-esteem.

2. Apprehensive Husband (Giving No Space to Wife in a Relationship)

a. “Couples after marriage are two bodies and one soul”, but this does not mean the husband does not give the wife her personal space.

b. Being insecure, possessive, jealous, suspecting her always, not giving her own space are other few reasons cited often during the sessions I here as reasons why the wife fell out of love with her husband.

c. Another important element is that of her Identity… she is not Mrs. XXXXXXX she also has her own identity. Often the wife is identified by her husband’s title, designation, position, and sometimes its aggravated when the in-laws taunt her and deprive her of her own identity. She finds herself being respected by someone else drifts her away from the husband.

d. This is often a complaint from the working women too, who complain that the husband suspects for no reason, such suspicion further results into domestic violence and financial abuse too, sometimes issues escalate due to in-laws.

3. Wrong Marriage (Marriage by Force)

a. It is very much possible in India, its unfortunate though, but I have dealt in many cases where an Annulment is sought just a few weeks after marriage because it was a forced marriage.

b. The girl was not willing to marry, maybe she loved someone else, but due to family pressure, prestige of parents, society etc… has ended up in this relationship (Arranged Marriage). Coercion is one such element which makes the relationship break, no matter the husband has put a 100% into the relationship but she may have not seen him as a partner of choice.

c. Sometimes, the relationship continues long and after few years its discovered that she lived with the husband only because of a promise she made to her ailing parent, and after the death of her parents she too wants freedom from such relationship she is got into, the husband may be 100% committed but is completely unaware of her intentions.

d. There are few cases I have dealt with where Same Sex attraction is another possible cause where the bonds and marital ties are falling apart, the partner in the relationship was not inclined or prepared for this marriage. Unable to express her/his true orientation has forced them into this relationship and as they gather courage to express themselves often seek divorce and move out of the marital ties.

4. Prince Charming is no more Handsome

a. I too was surprised in one such mediation session where this girl walked up and said my husband is no more the one, he used to be. Maybe the husbands are too busy to take care of themselves and have put in all the efforts working day and night to keep one and all in the family happy and healthy.

b. While doing so, the husband ends up having grey hairs not dyed, he has gained extra pounds, has no time to pick a new pair of shoes or did not find time to buy good clothes for himself. The wife sees her husband as her hero and wants him to be her handsome prince charming no matter the age.

c. Physical attraction is a very crucial and important element, one should forget to pamper oneself and give a chance for the partner to look out at someone else.

d. The Husband is no more the active and energetic like he was before marriage, after marriage he turned into a boring, grumpy, uninteresting person. That interesting man she fell in love with became a snooze fest she had no respect for and very little feelings of love towards him.

e. There are instances when women have admitted that they have tried many things to impress and seduce their husbands, being romantic, good food, seductive dresses but husbands have not appreciated them for the efforts they put in.

5. Poor Sexual Relationship and Lack of Romance

a. If husband is ignoring and rejecting the wife’s sexual needs and advances are a serious no-no in a good marital relationship. If the husband has a low libido or suffer a medical condition, ensure he communicates to his wife or ensure he finds a cure for the same.

b. Romance and Sexual bonding forces intimacy, it’s a stress buster, Sex releases endorphins which are essential to feeling good, lowering irritability and fighting off periods of depression. The hormone oxytocin released during sexual stimulation helps in bonding and the feeling of security and connectedness.

c. Many couples have also complained, it’s not the frequency but the quality of sexual life, some women complain the husbands to be rough, and they experience sex more as a marital rape, and in few such instances the women complains her husband to be a vegetable in the bed not showing any interest towards her.

When a woman is falling out of love with her man, she rarely comes right out and says it. Instead, the signs will be made clear to him in a series of behavior changes. Lack of intimacy, Lack of time, Talking about other men etc…

Husband’s especially in an arranged marriage have admitted that they fail to tap into a woman’s heart. Marriage is just another set of family responsibilities

Couples who go for counselling sometimes see results but the return to bliss is rare and short-lived and relationships end up in Divorce. It’s good for the couples to understand the challenges, know the legal frameworks and amicably resolve the matter, maintenance is not awarded to a cheating spouse but if there is a child involved it becomes a complex lawsuit, intervention at the right time, preparedness, evidence and various other court room arguments come to the rescue.

Trust this blog has helped open avenues to take corrective actions, though reasons are seen from a Women’s standpoint, they are gender agnostic and in today’s changing family dynamics, the first step is to accept the fact instead of fighting the thinking traps. a

Reach out to me if you wish to discuss your matter or seek counselling and legal advice at mail@lawyersonia.com or +91 9845944896